Today I am going to write about something that has been on my mind for long…but I hadn’t really found the words to encapsulate the essence of it…yet.

And meaningful posts don’t let themselves be planned by editorial plans, but…come forth in time, when they want to be written.

So let’s talk about something all of us want…SIGNIFICANCE.

What do I mean by significance?

  • We want to feel special…
  • We want to feel like we are unique and great…
  • We want to feel accepted for who we truly are…
  • And be respected for our talents and gifts.

At least I like it, I suppose you too? 😉

Now what is the best path to SIGNIFICANCE?

If we look around the pop and social media culture we are living in these days…or the individualized society we have seen for the last 1 or 2 decades…the answer seems obvious: Self-Realization…putting ourselves first, instead of listening to the needs and requests of others.

Chances are right above or below this post you there is any number of self-acclaimed “life coaches” that try to seduce you with their big promise of showing you the way to your ultimate fulfilment, absolute happiness, total bliss, ______…

Society seems to have it all figured out – it is such an unquestioned belief, we almost all seem to agree on it…The Secret To Significance Is Self(-Realization, -Fulfilment, …).

Well, I’m here to tell you it’s not.

So I have realized for my-self 😊…

There’s a big confession I have to make:

For a long time, significance was the most important thing I was after.

When I became self-employed (notice self 😉) I did it because I wanted to start my own business, to become important, to do my own thing, not listen to other people’s rules and schedules…

So instead of doing lead and client acquisition BIGLY, I took coaching classes, designed my logo, flyers, cards, website, the whole ego package (self-employed people, can I get an A-MEN BROTHER? Or a knowing grin is enough 😉)…

So here I was…self-employed and wondering why I still was NOT feeling significant, even though…

  • I was my own boss now.
  • I made my own hours.
  • I had my own website, logo and card.
  • AND even a Facebook Fanpage with a few dozen followers…

And no significance there…but the aching desire for it.

Sounds sad? Maybe…but in retrospect it prepared me for a big learning.

I even had supporters who wanted to help me out, friends and colleagues that wanted to become my clients, recommended me to others, BUT…

I refused and turned down a few clients…

Unthankful … I was. Why?

“That’s not a big client.” I thought, or along those lines…

One downward-spiral, that didn’t stop until…

A good friend came along and entrusted me with a project he needed urgently.

Frankly, I didn’t smell the significance, but I didn’t want to let my buddy down (and knew I could deliver exactly what he needed…)

About 2 days after I accepted this 3-week-intensive project, another old friend came along…

And wanted to hire me for another part-time, 4-week-long project…

Again, I wasn’t too excited when I thought about myself…

But I was like “Heck, my buddy really needs it, and it’s good money, so let’s do it.”

About 1 Week Later, I was Head-over-Toes in both projects…

Working 12-13 hours per day….

AND LOVED IT.

I felt happy.

I felt energized.

I felt excited…and most of all…

I felt SIGNIFICANT.

I was making a real difference for the people that had hired me, and they quickly shared the fact that they loved the results I achieved for them.

Naturally, I wanted to do more…

MAN, THAT FELT GREAT!

Suddenly, I was making really good money, I was energized and happy, I was respected and recommended to new clients, and felt better than ever before.

So the essence of my lesson is this:

THE SECRET TO SIGNIFICANCE ISN’T SELF, BUT SERVICE

If it wasn’t for my friends who needed me, I would probably have downloaded another 1 or 2 coaching courses promising me self-fulfillment.

I would have done some more meditation or yoga and hoped for enlightenment (they are great, but not the complete answer either 😉).

I might have turned down a few more clients waiting for the “big fish” that would “change it all”.

The way I see it now, the world is one beautiful big meadow.

And we are all plants that want to blossom and grow.

It’s a perfect ecosystem in which everyone has been given a talent and task.

We have NOT been given this talent in order to feel that we are “special” or “great”.

But we have been endowed with this gift in order to SERVE OTHERS.

In any case, that is my learning.

May it inspire you to find your own conclusions 😊.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this…what makes you feel significant? What do you think is the best way to feel significant? And why are we so focused on self-realization nowadays?…

Best regards,

 

 

PS: And NO, there is nothing wrong with using automation tools like webinars, newsletters, websites, online courses and other things to help you serve others. But focus on serving others, not on “how to remove yourself from the machine”. Where focus goes, energy flows 😉.